


Moments Lost in Time

by amethyst-noir (Arbonne)



Series: Stephen Strange Bingo Collection [24]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Cuddling, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Friendship, Karl Mordo - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Stephen Strange Bingo 2019, Tenderness, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Water, Waterboarding, mention of Stephen's car crash, mentioned - Freeform, mentioned because of IM1, talked briefly about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 04:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21294926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbonne/pseuds/amethyst-noir
Summary: "I used to be afraid of water, you know," he confessed in a near silent whisper, just to break the silence that had become too much."So was I," Tony whispered back.(Two men, both traumatized by water. Two ways to get over it, one much better than the other.)
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: Stephen Strange Bingo Collection [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1316576
Comments: 16
Kudos: 123
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Stephen Strange Bingo 2019





	Moments Lost in Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a different story. One with TAO and Mordo helping Stephen get over things. I started that one but it stalled after a few paragraphs and no matter what I tried. Then the parallel between Tony and Stephen both having bad associations with water hit me once again and this thing more or less wrote itself in one session (during work). Sorry not sorry; I'm just a hardcore Ironstrange shipper so that's what I want to write. 💞  
The title is, of course, from the iconic monologue in _Blade Runner_: _I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die._ (I had to include the whole thing because its utter perfection.) Don't worry, this story is fluffy, despite the scary tags up there. They just had to get through so much until they got their well-deserved happily ever after.
> 
> @stephenstrangebingo prompt: _Karl Mordo_ | @badthingshappenbingo: _Facing Their Phobia_

The soft splash of water when Tony shifted them around was the only sound in big, dimly lit pool area of the Avengers Compound. Under the water Tony's hands wandered and adjusted their hold on Stephen until one came to rest low on his stomach and the other on his throat, absently stroking his pulse-point but not restricting his movement in any way.

Stephen, relaxed and floating in the warm water, safe in Tony's arms, sighed quietly and turned his head until his face was pressed against Tony's neck.

"I used to be afraid of water, you know," he confessed in a near silent whisper, just to break the silence that had become too much.

"So was I," Tony whispered back. "Waterboarding in Afghanistan," he continued at Stephen's questioning sound.

Fuck. Stephen could feel himself tensing up, despite Tony trying to soothe with through touch alone. "I didn't know."

"Nobody does." He could hear the shrug more than he could feel it. "The ones who tortured me are long dead and I've never told anyone." He tightened his hold. "Your accident?" he asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

Stephen felt himself shiver despite the warm water. "I spent a long time in the freezing water before they found me, drifting in and out of consciousness. Aware of what was going on and knowing that it would have been better if the crash had snapped my neck instead of my hands." He raised his right hand from the warm water and they both stared at it. "This is why they are as bad as they are. If I'd gotten into the ER sooner, if I hadn't fucked myself up with more than the really necessary surgeries... The curse of being a doctor is knowing exactly what could have gone better."

"Shh." Tony kissed his cheek. "No what if's, remember?" He took Stephen's hand, entwined their fingers, and dragged it back underwater.

"Yeah." It was a promise between them, to keep Tony from spiraling into despair and Stephen from losing himself in the memories of millions of different timelines. Only the here and now was important. Both of them alive, relatively healthy and trying to heal and move one.

"What got you over it? You didn't seem hesitant when I dragged you in here the first time or any time after. Wait, is this why you want warm water? FRIDAY? Warm it up a little bit more."

There was a beep of acknowledgment as if the AI knew that this was an intimate moment between them and them alone. Hell, she knew. Tony had done good with her and she was more emphatic than most people Stephen knew. As he himself used to be, once upon a time.

He shivered despite the warmth surrounding him, saving him from having to answer verbally. "I was afraid of large bodies of water for a long time," he said instead.

"How did you get over it? I hope you didn't do it my way, I would hate to think about you suffering like that." Tony squeezed him once again. 

"Let me guess: You just forced yourself into water at every opportunity until newer terrors buried your fear of it." He didn't have the energy to rage at that shitty coping mechanism. Tony was hopeless and what was done was done anyway. 

"Pretty much, yeah," Tony confirmed. "Pepper had to deal with the fallout so that you can enjoy the version of me that likes to lounge around in pools and in the bathtub again. The removal of the reactor helped, too. It's easier to cuddle up to someone without that thing in the way and I like to have company and to this day I prefer company when I'm bathing or swimming." He also liked to be the one holding his partner - and to control the environment - but there was no need to say that out loud.

"I noticed." Stephen smiled. "Poor Pepper but I have to thank her for all the hard work she did on you." Pepper, wonderful, amazing and patient Pepper had brought Tony far enough so that he could be the strong one for Stephen when he was at the end of his endurance after Thanos. She had helped Tony to not only recover and actually discover his empathy so that he could connect with Stephen when he was broken down and just wanted an end to it all once again.

"She's a saint," Tony agreed. "So what was your method of working through it? Because you like soaking around just as much as I do, don't even try to lie about that."

The relaxed way he rested in Tony's arms, playing with the water occasionally, told its own story after all. "Karl," he said after splashing around for a moment or two to gather his thoughts.

"This Mordo guy you told me about? The one with a vendetta against magic as a whole and you in particular?" Tony sounded alarmed and considering the minimal information Stephen had given him about Karl he couldn't even blame him. 

More splashing as Tony drew him even closer and pressed another kiss against his skin. In answer, Stephen squeezed Tony's fingers and gathered his thoughts. He had opened up that topic so it was only right that he told about it now. 

"He used to be a good friend," he began and could hear the sorrow and longing in his own voice. "When he discovered that I was afraid of water he took it upon himself to help me, alongside my usual training hours every day."

"How?" Nothing more but one word, unconditional support emotionally as well as physically. Stephen closed his eyes to hide his tears of gratitude.

"He took me to a cave with an underground lake, fed from warm springs. Coaxed me into it a little bit farther every day until I could swim again without freaking out. It was a good workout for my hands and arms, too, and helped me to build up my strength again. I was a mess when I arrived at Kamar-Taj, barely able to do anything. He also taught me breathing and meditation techniques, never forced me or went beyond my limits." He smiled bitterly. "I fear I was rather fragile back then in every sense of the word."

He still was mentally, actually, but Karl had also taught him how to hide and put things into mental boxes for the sake of his questionable sanity. Tony did him the favor of not calling him out on that, though, and Stephen loved him even more for it.

"Should I be retroactively jealous?" Tony knew that there was no reason for that; it was pure teasing.

He still deserved a honest answer. Stephen stayed silent for a few moments, remembering and trying to find the right words. "There might have been the chance for something between us, once upon a time," he finally said. "There was... a connection. Maybe, if things had happened differently, if I had been just that little bit less stubborn and more subservient to tradition..."

Laughter shook Tony's body and Stephen's with him. "You and subservient? Less stubborn? Sorry, my love, but no." Tony dived away from him with an elegant motion and Stephen turned around to face him. "You were made for me and I don't want anything like that from you. You're perfect the way you are." He put his hand on Stephen's cheek. "My annoying stubborn asshole wizard."

This time there was no denying the tears, despite his laughter, so he didn't even bother hiding them. Tony, as usual, kissed them away, his whole expression shining with love and acceptance. Trust Tony to wrap up the most emotional confession possible in snark.

"Or do you want _me_ to be some deferent guy, like my father wanted me to be?"

The thought alone was enough to make Stephen shudder. "Never," he promised without hesitation. "You're perfect just like you are," he echoed. All the baggage included. _Made for me._ He liked that thought.

"See? Why should you be any different? It's not our style. If this Karl guy couldn't see that - his loss, my gain." His voice became softer as the gently traced first Stephen's cheekbone, then his jaw and trailed down over his throat until his hand came to rest on the big scar near Stephen's heart. "I wish I could take that one away," he murmured absently - not for the first time.

So many memories awoken with one innocent touch... he'd lost so much that day. The Ancient One, Karl, his innocence. But, looking back, gained even more.

He still missed the people. One dead, the other something between a friend and an enemy. "Frenemy," Tony had suggested once and Stephen was forced to apply that word to Karl these days, no matter how much it hurt.

"Hey, Tony to Stephen. Come back, please." He shook off the gloomy thoughts and concentrated on Tony once again. "Sorry if I dredged up bad memories."

He shook his head. "Not bad; just sad to think about. Even after all these years. It's good to be reminded sometimes, actually." He tended to shove things so far down his subconscious that it occasionally became difficult to access them without deep meditation; but while some memories where better off down there he didn't want the beginnings of his second life to be something never thought about." Not something that was such an integral part of himself.

"Karl took me swimming even after I've gotten over most of my fear," he said with a smile, remembering those nights and the talks they had with fondness. "Looking back the water was probably infused with magic but I had no way to verify that back then."

"So you associate warm water with friendship and care and cold water with hopeless loneliness and pain," Tony summarized with brutal efficiency. "I get it. I prefer it warm, too." He leaned forwards for a quick kiss before he put a hand on Stephen's neck and guided his head down onto his shoulder, like so often before. Stephen relaxed into the hold with a sigh. "I promise to never take you swimming in the cold." It should have been funny but the intimate atmosphere and Tony's tone of voice gave the whole thing the aura of a solemn oath.

No ocean for the two of them, just warm pools and baths. It sounded heavenly. Perfect.

Fuck, he loved Tony. There were no words to even begin to describe the complex and immense mass of emotion Tony made him feel but love was a good start.

"Sounds good," he finally managed with a choked-up voice while holding on as tightly as possible.

Tony just did the same and they stayed like that, safe and protected in the warm water.

Later, Tony helped Stephen out of the pool and let Stephen fuss over him with a towel while the Cloak did the same with its master. Laughter, gentle teasing and the faint smell of chlorine in the air. Stephen looked back at the pool one last time, committing that picture to memory instead of the one with freezing cold water. That one could stay in its box forever.

"Don't," Tony warned him softly. "Stay with me." 

He shook the thoughts away and smiled at Tony. "Forever," he promised and conjured a portal back home for them.

**Author's Note:**

> One more story and the Stephen Strange Bingo will be done. Thank you so much for reading! A ❤️ or a comment would make my day but as long as you enjoyed this I'm happy as well.
> 
> [@](https://amethyst-noir.tumblr.com/post/188786672416/moments-lost-in-time-amethyst-noir-arbonne)  



End file.
